Love, Need & Want
by XWhateverXWillXBe
Summary: Alice loves her husband Jasper but when mouth-watering human Ethan comes along will Alice's love for Jasper overpower her love for Ethan's blood? Alice's POV.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first solo fanfiction so I hope you all enjoy.**

**Please review.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Twilight. **

**Alice's Point of View**.

'Can you just leave me alone?' I said, through gritted teeth. I had my hands against his warm chest; and was debating whether or not to push him off of me. I knew that if I did I would end up hurting him or worse, killing him.

'Oh, come on. I know you want me.' Ethan replied pushing himself towards me so our bodies were now touching. I could smell his fresh human blood running through his body. I stopped breathing hoping it would help, although the temptation to press my lips against his soft neck and dig my teeth into his body, drinking his delicious blood, was still so strong. The more I thought about it the more I wanted it. The smell of his blood was stronger then any human I had ever met.

'I'm married.' I pointed out, lifting up my hand to show him the huge expensive-looking sparkling ring on my finger, dying for him to get the message and finally back off. 'And I'm very happy with Jasper, my _husband_.' I emphasized the word. He flinched, 'I really wish you would stop mentioning that.'

I didn't even know how to respond to that ridiculous remark so instead I just shook my head, from side-to-side, in utter disbelief.

'Alice, please, I love you. I want you. I need you.' I could see the strong pleading and desperation clearly in his deep blue eyes. 'Please' He repeated, this time slower, quieter and even more painful. He closed his eyes and leaned his head forward, ready to kiss me. I was far more interested in his neck- where the blood smelt best- then his lips although they didn't look to bad either but that's beside the point.

My visions were changing every second; they kept switching from drinking his warm blood to me running away- where Ethan still being alive. I hated this; it was making me uncomfortable and anxious.

Unable to stay here any longer I pulled away, careful not to hurt him, saying, 'I can't Ethan. I'm sorry.' I run at a fast but human speed to my yellow Porsche. Without even putting my seat belt on, I put the keys into the car, took a deep breath and without a second glance drove away, relieved.

Ethan was a human who admitted over and over again how much he loved me and wanted to be with me but time after time I told him how much I loved my husband and wanted to be with him. The worst thing of all was the fact that I couldn't get enough of Ethan but not for the same reasons. I craved his blood; the smell is irresistible to me. I had experienced this kind of thing from my brother but that ended in a way which I hoped would never happen.

Of course, I could very easily tell Jasper and we could move away but I knew just how much he and the rest of my family loved it here and I didn't want to spoil it for them although, this wasn't the biggest reason. The biggest was how much I knew just how angry Jasper would get. I'd seen it in my head the same scene over and over; Jasper hunting him down, ripping him to shreds and burning the pieces sometimes I even see him drinking his blood-which made me jealous. Ethan wasn't my favourite person, far from it, but i still wouldn't let this happen to him.

'I'm back.' I announced, in the most cheerful voice I could put on so my family wouldn't suspect anything. Most of them just greeted me then went back to what they were doing before. Edward, Bella and Rosalie were playing with Renesmee, Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle was watching baseball on the TV and Esme was reading. I skipped over to where Jasper was sitting, on the couch, jumped on his lap, and kissed him softly on the check. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. I sighed; glad to be back to him.

'Hey, are you okay?' He asked, quietly. I could hear worry in his voice.

'I'm absolutely fine,' I smiled at him then buried my face into his neck. I really hated lying to him and what hurt the most was he knew that I was lying. For a while, we just sat there. I felt guilty and was so close to telling him when Renesmee, in her high pitched voice says, 'Daddy, I'm hungry. I want a lion.' Everyone laughed, and smiled down at her.

'I'm sorry, let's go. Does anyone want to come with us?' Edward called from the back door. He and Renesmee were going to go hunting. I thought about it then agreed to go with them since it had been a couple weeks since I last hunted and with Ethan always around and so close I couldn't afford to be thirsty.

'Is he still bothering you?' Edward asked, whilst walking by the lake near the forest. To Renesmees relief, we hunted down a couple lions and so now we're walking back towards the house, Renesmees already their having got bored with our slow pace.

Edward was the only one who knew about Ethan because of his mind-reading, although for a while I did try hiding it but eventually he found out. We hardly talked much about it but lately it had been getting worse and Edward felt the need to step in.

I just sighed, and nodded looking anywhere besides his concerned face.

'I know we've been through this, Alice, but really I think you need to tell Jasper- his really worrying about you.' Edward said, forcing me to give him an irritated look.

'Are you crazy?' I asked, throwing my arms in the air, for exasperation. 'You damn well know what would happen if I do. I can't risk something like that. Your not going to tell him are you? Oh, please Edward, I'm going through enough.'

Edward comforted me by squeezing my shoulder. 'I'm sorry, Alice. Yeah, you're right. And, I promised I was going to keep my mouth shut and I am. I'm not going to break my promise.'

'Good and I'm sorry I blew up there. It's just…' I couldn't find the right words to express how I felt and what I was going through.

'It's okay, I know. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. I just wish there was something I can do.' The pain was strong in both our eyes and for once we were both speechless.

Edward was the first to break the awkward silence. 'We should probably get back before they come out wondering what's taking us so long.' I smiled back at him then in my normal happy voice yelled, 'Race you back!'

We were a couple miles away from the house when abruptly I stopped and as soon as Edward realized what was happening stopped too.

Long after the vision ended I was still frozen. Edward took me by the arms and shook me. 'Alice,' he whispered, probably in case anyone especially our family hears, 'Snap out of it. We need to do something fast. If your visions are right, which they usually are, Ethan will be here any moment now. If he smells half as good to us as he does to you, we're in trouble.'

I finally came to terms with reality and quietly screamed, 'Don't you think I know that? And that's probably not the biggest thing to worry about. Jasper will rip that guys head off.'

'Maybe that won't be such a bad thing.' He shrugged.

'Edward!' I screeched.

'Shhh!' Edward hissed, 'Go just sort him out. I'll make some excuse for you. Go!'

'Okay, yeah. Thanks Edward.' I said though it came out bitter and ungrateful, I felt bad and wanted to say sorry. I didn't have time so just gave him a smile and ran with the fastest form of travel, being my feet.

I got to Ethan's house and not a moment to soon. Just as I arrived he was coming out of his door.

'Ethan!' I called. As soon as he spotted me his face brightened up and a smile spread from one ear to another. Anyone could tell what that was: love. He ran towards me. For a human, he was pretty fast.

'Hey, baby, are you okay? What are you doing here? Weirdly enough I was just about to come to yours.' His eyes were sparkling with love and devotion.

'Yeah, I know.' I sighed.

'What? How?' Confusion spread across his handsome face.

'Never mind. Ethan, can I come in? I really need to talk to you.' And before he even replied I was through his front door and into his house. To my surprisement it was a lot cleaner then I thought, very welcoming. I was suddenly very grateful for that offer Edward made to go hunting because the scent in his house was a so much stronger, almost unbearable. With determination I just held my breath and with no hesitation did what I was here for.

'Listen to me, Ethan, okay? You can _never_ come to my house.'

'Hunny, you look so stressed,' he came closer and stroked my cheek with the back of his hand, I flinched and moved back, 'sorry. I won't come to your house. I just needed to see you.'

'I'm saying this for your own benefit.' I warned him, looking deeply into his blue eyes. He threw his head back and laughed, then stroked back his curly brown hair.

Whilst rolling his eyes says, 'I think I'll be okay,' Still slightly laughing. My face was dead serious. He continued, 'I doubt he'll kill me. No offence to you or your husband; but Jasper doesn't look very dangerous. I don't think I've actually ever heard him speak.' This caused him to laugh even more.

'I'm leaving.' I said stubbornly, heading towards the door. Ethan stopped me just in time and moved in front so I couldn't leave. Well, that's what he thought anyway. He wasn't laughing anymore.

'That was mean, I'm sorry, I'm sure your husband is a very nice person.' Agreeing, I nodded, 'Yeah, he is.'

'I really don't mean to hurt him. And I do feel selfish.' I could tell he meant it.

We gazed into each other's eyes, Ethan moved his arms around my waist and pulled me into a hug and for once I let him. Besides the burning deep in my throat, I felt comforted and comfortable.

**Thank you for reading, now please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter's a little short because I only got 1 review and it seems a little pointless to carry on if no one's reading.**

**So pllleeeeeeaaaaaassseeeee if you like it and want me to carry on then review.**

**Thank you and enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Twilight.**

All 8 golden eyes were staring at me whilst I entered our house. Jasper looked worried and if I wasn't mistaken a little annoyed, Edward looked understanding, Bella, Renesmee, Esme and Carlise looked concerned, for some reason Emmett looked amused and excited but well, that's just Emmett and Rosalie was expressionless, as always.

'Sorry, Edward told you while I had to run out quick, right?' I said, staring at Edward trying to give him some kind of look which he would understand as a sign as to what my excuse was. Obviously he realized as he then said, 'Yes, I did. I told them exactly what you told me to tell them. That there was a sale at some shop down town and you wanted to go before it closed.'

'Yeah,' I nodded, wondering why, even with that pretty good excuse, they all still looked so worried.

'If you went shopping why haven't you got any bags?' Emmett asked, probably just to add a little drama into our pretty boring lives. I looked down at my empty pale hands.

'I got there and realized I never had my purse. I really can't believe I forgot. They had the most amazing things, I feel gutted. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to go again tomorrow.' I fake laughed, shrugged and started moving towards the stairs, to get to my room. I really just needed to be alone for a while. Of course, I didn't feel tired because that would be impossible but I did feel exhausted.

'Alice, we're just worried about you.' Esme said.

Bella added, 'You haven't been the same the last couple months. You can tell us anything. We might be able to help. Is it about your human life again?'

I was beginning to get a little angry. Couldn't they get the message; I don't want to talk about it. But I also knew that if one of them was acting weird I would want to know too so I couldn't blame them. I sucked in some air then blew it out.

'No, it's not. And I highly doubt you can help me. Just leave it. I'll be fine. Thank you.' They gave each other un-sure looks, 'really, I'm okay.' I reassured them.

'Please, Alice. Just tell us.' This time it was Carlisle that spoke. After everything Carlisle and Esme had done for me, I couldn't bare to just be cold towards them and walk away. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't have a home. I would be like every other vampire; red-eyed. I wouldn't have a family that loved me enough to notice when I was acting normal. But I also knew that telling them the truth was out of the question and before I could stop myself I was telling them, 'Well, lately, my visions have been all wrong. I would see something and the opposite would happen and normally they would be about something so small like driving to school or hunting. And that's when I actually get visions; I haven't got any in ages. I think there is something wrong with them or maybe there just fading away, is that possible?' I immediately felt guilty for lying to the people closest to me but they really didn't leave me any other choice.

'Alice, you should have told us. We're sorry we wouldn't just leave it but it's because we care and love you, you know that, right?' Esme said, walking over and giving me a hug. Oh, no. This made me feel even worse. I shouldn't have lied to them. I should have just… arh… I don't know. Crap.

'Yeah, I do. And I love you all too. I just want to be on my own for a while is that okay?' They all gave a sympathetic nod and smile; well everyone besides Edward. He just stood there with his arms crossed, angrily. I didn't think it was possible but now I felt even worse. I mouthed the word 'Sorry' but he just shook his head and turned around. Obviously he wasn't too happy about what I had just done. Hell, neither was I.

I was in my room within seconds, smashed the door closed, then crumpled to the floor and wept. No tears were realised from my eyes but cries escaped through my lips. I clamped both my hands over mouth, pressing hard, to make sure no one heard. I lay on the floor, leaning against the closed door, with my eyes shut. A tight knot was pulling inside my chest. And I just sat there for ages; hours.

When I finally felt able to stably get up, I did. The knot inside my chest was still there but now it wasn't pulling as much. I looked across the room at the huge circle, gold clock that hang on the wall behind a wooden chest of draws. It was just after seven o'clock in the morning. We would have to leave for school very soon which meant facing Ethan again but for once I never dreaded that. What I dreaded more was having to face my family after I'd lied to them.

It was just then when a light tap knocked the door. I ran over to the mirror and gave myself a good look. Two beady eyes, dark but not yet black, were staring back at me. My face was paler then usual and my lips were frowning. The face glazing at me through the mirror was most certainly not me. Well she didn't look like me but she sure was. She was a familiar stranger. 'Come in.' I said, barely above a whisper and turned to look at Jasper, my husband who I do love so much, entering my room and carefully walking towards me, like I might lash out and hit him or something.

'We're going now? Are you ready?' He asked slowly, probably to sound sympathetic and understanding but to me it just sounded patronizing. I felt my hands clench into fists and my body tensing. Wow, what is wrong with me? I just sighed heavily; crossing my hands over my chest.

'Yeah,' I simply answered, not sure if I could trust myself to say anymore. The last thing I wanted was to upset Jasper, or any member of my family for that matter.

'Are you okay? We're all worried about you. I was going to come up earlier but we thought maybe you needed some time to yourself so we all went for a walk in the forest.'

That's good. It meant none of them heard me crying- well they probably heard some but not all.

'Oh, that's fine and _please_ don't worry about me. Did you have fun?' I asked, purposely avoided his first question.

'I guess so. We just missed. Are you sure your-' I interrupted him before he could even finish his sentence, saying 'Let's go. We don't want to be late.' I practically pushed him out of the door but it definitely stopped him from asking that question once again.

He took my hand and for a moment I almost flinched away. Why would I do that, his my husband? And I really love my husband, I do. I've been saying that a lot lately but with all this going on with Ethan I kind of feel the need for the reassurance.

Hand-in-hand, we walked at a slow human pace down the stairs. All eyes, once again, rested on my face. Concern, fear and sympathy spread across there faces. I mentally shrugged it off and smiled, 'Morning. Are you all ready? It's time to go.'

They all exchanged puzzled looks then once again turned back to stare at me. 'Err, yeah. Let's go.' said Bella.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you very much for the reviews. There very inspirational so please keep them coming!**

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**Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Twilight.**

'Alice!' Ethan called from across the room, as I entered the cafeteria. He ran over to where I was standing, with that I'm-so-in-love look on his face however today it wasn't as cocky as it normally was. I didn't think mush of it though, I was to mad at him.

'Ethan,' I quietly hissed, 'my family and not to mention my _husband _are right over there,' I jerked my chin over to where they were sitting and luckily none of them where looking over our way.

'So? They can't hear us.' Ethan shrugged.

'Shh!' I hissed again, 'My family have, um, very good hearing and, you know, they can still _see_ us. What do you want?'

'Wow, someone's stressed.' Ethan rolled his eyes. Why can't he leave me alone?

'Well I just came over because I had something to tell you,' his face dropped and pain flashed through his gorgeous deep blue eyes.

'Ethan, what's wrong?' Ethan was a pretty happy person and nothing- besides me telling him to leave me alone- brought him down so I was a little –okay, a lot- curious.

'You know my sister, Scarlett-,' I'd never talked to her before but I'd seen her around a little at school. She was a year younger then Ethan and so was in none of my classes. The only reason I knew she was Ethan sister is because of there incredible resemblance; they looked almost the same –besides being different genders, of course- although, Scarlet had amazing bright red hair, probably why her parent's called her Scarlett. I slightly nodded and so Ethan carried on, 'Well, she's been gone for a while. At first me and my parents just thought she was having another one of them teenage rebellious nights where she would go partying, get drunk and not come back for a couple days but now were really starting to worry. She's been gone two weeks. And I'm kinda scared.' His eyes started to fill up but he quickly broke eye contact and blinked the tears away. If my family weren't a couple meters away I would have probably pulled him into a hug.

'Oh, Ethan I'm so sorry.' And I truly did mean it.

'Yeah. Thanks. Anyway, I guess you should be getting back to them,' He flashed his head over to where Jasper, Bella, Edward, Emmett and Rose were sitting.

'Yeah, I should. I hope you find her Ethan. I'll keep a look out. I'm sure she's fine.' I gave him a sympathetic smile and turned to walk over to my normal table.

I sat into my usual seat in between Bella and Jasper and said, 'Hey.'

'Alice, was that Ethan Logon you were just talking to?' Emmett asked. He sounded a little disgusted and surprised.

'Um, yeah. Why?' They all gave each other curious glances then looked back at me.

'Because he. Is. A. Jerk.' Emmett replied, separating each word as if it was a well-know fact, 'I hate that guy.'

'You only hate him because he is the only guy in school that can beat your ass in basketball,' Rosalie said, giving him a sour look. They probably just had another one of there daily, more accurately- hour, arguments.

'Are you crazy? Of course I can beat him in basketball,' then more quietly he whispered, 'but, you know, we have to make this human thing realistic so I kinda let him win.'

'Yeah, sure. That's why.' Rosalie snorted sarcastically, flicking a couple French fries at him. He used his quick reflexes to duck just in time, sending them flying across the room and ending in a 8th grader's lunch.

I don't know what came over me. My mouth ran away without notifying my head. But for some crazy reason I defended Ethan; maybe because I felt bad about his sister going missing. Yeah, that's probably why. 'No, his not that bad once you get to know him.'

Edward shot me a sharp glance which actually made him look a little scary. If we weren't in a room full off humans right now I'm pretty sure he would have tried ripping my head off. As soon as I thought this Edwards scary look turned to amused. I gulped and turned back to Emmett.

'Get to know him? Are you _friends_ with him?' Emmett's eyes looked like they were going to pop right out of his head.

'Well, I'm in his Biology class and we have been made, um, partners a couple times, you know.' I wasn't lying. That was actually true, we had been and I guess that's when Ethan realized he had feelings for me.

I'm not sure how much longer I could keep the conversation about Ethan up so I quickly changed subject. 'Don't wait for me after school. I have a detention for an hour. I'll just run back.'

And for the first time since I sat down Jasper spoke up. 'Are you sure? We can wait for you if you want. Or you can always ring me and I'll come and get you?' He grabbed my hand under the table and squeezed it.

'Thanks but its okay. I'm sure Bella and Edward need to get back to Renesmee and it will be quicker to run anyway.' I gave a returning hand-squeeze.

'Okay but come back quick. I'll miss you.' He whispered although the other's probably heard.

'I'll miss you, too.' Just as I said them words Ethan walked past and I could tell he heard what I said because his face tightened up almost as if he were trying to hold back tears. I felt guilty. He probably had enough on his mind right now with Scarlett gone and he didn't need me rubbing the fact that I was taken in his face. Then I felt guilty for feeling guilty. I should be able to tell my husband that I'll miss him and Ethan's just got to know- which he does, I've told him before- that I love my husband and me and him can never be together.

Emmett broke through my thoughts when he enthusiastically said, 'Oh, I bought the entire series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on DVD since they've stopped showing the repeats on TV,'

Rosalie said, 'Why do you even like that show...?'

Fortunately, the Ethan conversation never popped up again causing me to have a peaceful and relaxed afternoon. We'll that's what I thought then. The craziest thing is I didn't seen what happened next. We'll I did _see_ it but I just never had a vision of it beforehand, normally when things like this happen I always see it . That's why I was so surprised when it actually happened.

I had just finished my hour long detention and was half way home running through the forest when I was abruptly stopped.

I'm not sure which made me stop first; the scent or the screams. Whichever it was was not good. I ran past a couple trees tracing the smell. Then I found him, lying there in pure agony. I feel to my knees and grabbed his shoulders, 'Ethan, can you hear me?' I could hear my normally perfect voice breaking with fear.

'Yep, It… I…' he squeezed painfully out of gritted teeth.

'Shh! don't try to speak anymore,' his attention was elsewhere, on the unbearable pain- I'm guessing 'Ethan, listen to me. You are going to be okay, I'm going to make sure of that. I promise you.'

He nodded, with clamped lips probably to hold back screams although it didn't work- they still escaped.

I quickly grabbed my cell phone out of my back pocket and dialled Edward's number. Luckily, he picked up on the first beat, 'Alice? You-' without even listening to him I shouted 'Edward, I need your help quick. It's Ethan.'

Without me even telling him what happened he guessed, most likely from Ethan's screams. 'Okay. You need to suck the venom out like I did with Bella, it's hard but it's the only way.' He stated firmly.

'I just found him and whoever did this did it at a while ago. The venom's spread. It's too late, Edward. His changing into a vampire.'


End file.
